For the Recovering Pick-up Artist

Stop Chasing After Empty Validation From Beautiful Girls


Finally, a simple paradigm shift to Escape the Pick-up Matrix. Dissolve neediness and enjoy interactions without applying ‘strategy’

Gamers Listen up

Have you ever been in a situation like this:

Imagine, you’re at a club with your wingmen to pick-up girls. After getting into state, you notice a target in a 2-set. You know you should approach her, and feel a tightness in your body — “approach anxiety”.

Your friend eggs you on. You tell yourself to ‘man up’. Every step towards her feels like there’s lead in your boots — those small steps demand huge courage. Your inner critic is thinking:

“What should I say?”
“What if she rejects me?”
“What will other people think of me?”

Finally you cold approach her… When she notices you, her face turns to confusion and disapproval… she brushes you off as if you were an annoying fly.

Imagine This

What if life were different?

Imagine you went out for the night with a friend or two.  Just to have fun. You don’t feel pressure to cold approach or get girl’s numbers.  You feel completely at ease, and have this new intention for the evening.

You guys are laughing and joking around, totally immersed in the atmosphere of the night.

You’re sat down at a table now and just bubbling over with fun and laughter. You notice two cute girls sitting next to you. Sure, they’re attractive but you don’t suddenly lose your shit, stop talking with your friends and start strategising. You and your friends company are still the centre of your universe in this moment.

Without any judgment or effort whatsoever, you simply extend a part of the fun you’re having out to them.  It’s an unconditional offer… so light and carefree you don’t even realise you’re deep into a fun and flirty conversation with them.

You, your friends and the quality of the night are the highest priority.  You’re off to another party, so you add each other on Facebook and tell them you have to go.  An hour later, you remember something in the conversation and send her a quick message to join your group.  Within a minute, she responds “For sure!;D Where are you guys?”

You’ve become the rare type of guy that makes a girl feel safe, warm, and attracted.  You know why?  Because you’re the only guys in that club NOT doing GAME.

Do you realise

This isn’t just something ‘other guys’ do

You can become this type of guy too… the top 1% of guys that get it.

Where you don’t need the external validation of a phone number.  You feel whole and autonomous, and totally content with or without getting results. It’s so effortless that you eventually don’t have to perform or demonstrate anything to ‘get’ her.

Where did it all originate

I used to think pick-up was the Promised Land

Years ago, I was a club promoter.  I didn’t even know pick-up existed, yet there was always an abundance of amazing women in my life.  Then one day, I chose to be with ‘the one’.

After we broke up I decided, “If I can’t be with the love of my life, I’m gonna learn how to get any girl… any time… any place.”  I joined the Pick-up Community and thought it would amplify my results.

I was great at it...

Using the strategies and techniques, I improved rapidly as a ‘gamer’ and was getting laid

Despite learning a huge arsenal of game theory and investing more time and energy into it, there was still a splinter in my mind:  “Why do I keep approaching more and more women, yet feel more distanced from them?”

Something didn’t feel right.  Regardless of all the numbers I filled my phone with, I was getting worse with women compared to before I got sucked into the pick-up community.

The occasional sex I was having was tricking me into thinking I was developing myself.  I was a shell of my former self… I felt an invisible lack…  a deep empty pit in my gut.  And yet I went deeper into the game.

I even worked with internationally renowned dating & seduction companies: The Natural Lifestyles and Get the Guy.

After years of coaching in the dating industry, teaching both men and women how to chase ‘results’, I realised there had to be a healthier more fulfilling way.

What happened Next...

I started unravelling the hidden problems in the "seduction" community

Do you face any of these:

  • Approach Anxiety
  • Rejection
  • Low Self Esteem
  • Increasing Sense of lack

These are all symptoms of a deep-rooted problem in the realm of most game advice.

Whether it’s an indirect, mechanical methodology like using routines & scripts, or following ‘natural game’ principles, they all operate from a core motivation of ‘taking’ or ‘picking up’ — as they say.

When you go out with the primary intention to TAKE, and you are unsuccessful in taking, you face all the familiar symptoms. You search for solutions to destroy ‘approach anxiety’… suppress it, desensitise from it, even meditate through it.  You find more and more sophisticated ways to control interactions and to try and avoid rejection. Yet these are only tactics to negate a disease that is unnecessary in the first place… created by a flawed intention rooted in taking.

Your whole worldview of the social is world is wrong.  You’re seeing every interaction as a transaction.  You can’t be in the moment for one second because every girl you like becomes a deal to close.  Every word you speak, every action you take is simply a form of strategy to reap a reward.  Any idea how bad that smells to people?  Any idea how unattractive that is?

But did you know

A simple shift can cure all your acquisition-based dating problems

Once our view of women shifts from ‘target’ or ‘set’, to ‘friend’ or ‘ally’ our energy then moves from parasitic actions of taking, to mutual actions of playing, creating, sharing.

We move:

  • from control to acceptance
  • from ‘grinding it out’ to flow
  • from picking-up to co-creating
  • from ‘working to achieve a woman’ to ‘playing with women’
  • from fear to love

“But pick-up works!” I hear you cry.  Well begging works too.  Imagine you walk around all day with a coffee cup, by the end of the day your cup is full of coins. You can argue that begging works.  You’re winning at begging but you’re losing at life.

Imagine now a cocktail barman.  He’s flirting, being cheeky, and even asking for numbers and hooking up dates.  At no point can he lose, or be rejected.  Despite the reaction from the women he talks to, he simply dissolves back into his primary purpose of being a barman. No rejection, no approach anxiety, no pain.

Someone who’s empty needs to take, and that’s unattractive.  Someone who’s full and engaged in a higher purpose can give and share themselves unconditionally. Guess what, that’s genuinely attractive.

Now we reach a true place of wholeness.  We feel comfortable in our own skin without needing validation from someone else.  Isn’t that where you truly want to be?

The simplest way to create inner peace with total social & sexual freedom, is to completely leave behind the fear-based and strategic pick-up system.  I’m here to guide you out of the toxic wasteland of game all the way to the powerful connections your heart desires.

The solution

Introducing Social Heartistry

Social Heartistry is a new understanding to act from place of natural instinct. Where you no longer see the world as chess pieces that need to be manipulated and controlled in your favour.  Instead, you come from a child-like sense of curiosity and wonder.  You’re full of play and natural expression.

We extend that out to people around us.  There’s no fear of loss, because we’re fulfilled by our intrinsic actions. Our reward comes from how we feel in each moment.

Much like an artist, who doesn’t create art to impress others, he simply expresses himself. Whether or not someone buys into it, they are unaffected and carry on creating relentlessly.  We don’t do things to get, we do it because it feels good to create.

Social Heartistry isn’t a belief system; rather, it’s a compass to navigate you out of the prison of the mind, and into the palace of the heart.

We move from analysing to awareness, from thinking to feeling, from strategising to enjoying the moment.

Instead of standing on the edge of a lake and fishing, you’re diving in and swimming with the fish.  You’re not seeing things as separate cold objects that need to be approached and controlled – you’re already interconnected, in one big pool of potential – potential lovers, best friends, stories to share, new business acquaintances, even just recommendations for travel or books, and you don’t know what’s going to happen, but that’s the beauty of it.  Can you feel the excitement of exploring that? Without knowing what’s going to happen. Swimming around and sharing this experience with others.

It begins with you

Are you ready to reveal your most attractive self?

Since 2010, I have been guiding people out of a place of acquisition & control towards healthy actions of honest expression.  Empowering people to work through their own pain and emptiness, so they become whole, fulfilled, content and attractive within themselves.  This is why I call it healing the ‘heart’.

Social Heartistry isn’t about ‘seeking results’ and working for outcomes. It’s about ‘being fulfilled’ and playing with people .  Here’s what else you’ll find when you make the shift :

  • Stop chasing and start attracting
  • Convert neediness into autonomy
  • Turn acquisition on it’s head
  • Connect with strangers without using manipulation tactics
  • Move from working FOR a woman, to playing WITH women
  • Redefine the way you see women, sex and relationships
  • Dissolve inner obstacles & experience huge breakthroughs
  • Go deeper within yourself to go deeper with other people
  • Move through the world with total freedom and youthful spirit

Start Improving Your Life Today


In this long-awaited book, John Cooper reveals the full story of how he infiltrated the pick-up and seduction industry and subverted it into a platform for masculine and spiritual development. Creating a revolutionary new paradigm called Social Heartistry that the world is waking up to and welcoming with open arms. Enabling men and women to connect on a deeper and more heartfelt level than was ever possible.

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Great Book, Even Better Author

I've been following John Cooper for months now and luckily for me, he came into my life at a very crucial junction. I had just been released from prison, I was feeling shameful, and there was a lot of self-doubt in my life.... Read more

What an eye-opener! A life changing book!

This book will liberate so many men from being stuck in trying to get laid. It opened my eyes on how I look at the world. It's not only incredibly well and understandable written (as my mothers language is not english).... Read more

Undeniably Brilliant

I'm only on the second chapter and I can honestly say that this is one of the most compelling books I've ever read. Any guy who has anything to do with the pickup world has to read this book, the points made are undeniable! Really well done.... Read more

Life-changing book

Life-changing book. The learnings from this book helped me be more playful in social situations, accept parts of myself and overcome a lot of insecurities I once had (through inner child healing, taught in the book).... Read more

Wonderful book and well written

Wonderful book and well written. A must read for anyone who is currently or has ever been involved with pickup.

For anyone who wants to make genuine connections with people.

I found this book to be inspiring and insightful. First the book deconstructs pick-up terminology and ideologies and shows how they keep a person in a cycle of pain. Even if you are not involved in pick-up you may find.... Read more

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"I broadcast a whole new vibe out into the world. Instead of predicting the worst-case scenarios and battling with it, I trust in the unknown and come from pure potential and possibility. I am no longer forcing or controlling, but letting go and riding the chaos..."

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